I See You
by Dareia
Summary: Felicity Smoak is the sidekick, the geek, the IT department. But there comes the time when even she has enough. Set after season one final, with slight changes of the events. One, or two shot. Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

**Dear Readers! It's been a long time I published anything as I'm working on my original story but I got this idea stuck in my head, and I had to put it "on paper". It started out as a one shot but seems to turn into two now, or I will just add the next chapter to this, we will see. I hope you enjoy! Feel free to leave a good or bad feedback. Thank you all :)**

**P.S.: I apologize for any mistake I might have made, it was in the middle of the night I wrote this.**

**P.P.S.: I made some changes, so it isn't completely like the final but it's based on the events of that episode.**

**P.P.P.S.: I didn't use the right quotation marks as it's supposed to be in English. I hope it doesn't ruin anyone's fun.**

Under all the broken pieces, under all the hard metal, and under all the heavy concrete, there laid Felicity Smoak. How she got there was not nearly the question… The question was more like why did she get there? That was the question what bothered her the most while being covered in dust, not seeing anything without her glasses –not that there were so many things to see in the complete darkness of a collapsed world but it still would have given more of a comfort to have her glasses on her nose- and most likely being speared by a steel pillar while having her leg trapped under a piece of concrete. In the last few months her life turned upside down because of one single person. For a long time she kept telling herself that mentioned one single person was Walter. However, now having the last minutes of her life finally, she could be honest with herself. That certain one single person was no one else than Oliver Queen, well known playboy billionaire, not so directly well known Mr. Hoody, both of those having the sign on them „Out of Felicity's league". She was only the sidekick, the geek, the IT department, not the heroine of the story, no she was just… well, just „Try harder Felicity." She did, she really did try her best to save the city, or to help Oliver to save it from complete demolition by the evil master plan of a crazy psychopath but she wasn't the heroin. She failed, and now she was about to die. At least you had a bite of the big one's pie, Felicity, she thought to herself. In the last few months, she was almost exploded, shot down, almost exploded again, flew in an elevator hold by Oliver Queen himself, and last but not least, arrested even if she'd not even got a parking ticket ever. Her mother would be entirely outraged what had become of Felicity who'd never got into trouble.

She just couldn't believe that she would die this way. Even sidekicks deserve to have a kiss from the hero. All the small touches, the moments of flirt just made her want that kiss more… She always thought that during some highly dangerous mission she would be kissed by Oliver because the situation required it. Most certainly she was smarter than to think he would feel anything for her but she would have been happy to die that way. But she had to die disappointed because she didn't even get that. This was so completely unfair, she thought to herself, laughing about how childish she was, though, her laughter was more of a cough than anything else. The worst thing though, was that she was more scared that Oliver couldn't give her that so incredibly wanted kiss because he was dead, and not because she was dying. What if he was trapped under something as well, and couldn't get out? What if… What if he was already gone? No, that was something she couldn't think about.

She was very thirsty, her mouth was completely dry, and she kept inhaling dust, making her cough, causing even more pain in her stomach. She kept telling herself she couldn't fall asleep because that would be the end for her, and she deserved that kiss, she thought stubbornly. Suddenly maybe she was hallucinating but she could swear she heard her name being yelled. Oliver was her first thought, he knew she was there, and he came to escape her. She tried to answer, wanting to give a clue of her whereabouts but still, it was more of a rather rough and loud cough than a scream. The concrete piece was lifted from her. She blinked rapidly as even more dust flew into her eyes, trying to make out the form in front of her.

„Thank God, you're alive," she couldn't see but she definitely knew the voice, it was Diggle. A small part of her was very disappointed, felt let down but of course, she was optimistic, and she was saved, things could only improve from there.

„Are you hurt?" Diggle asked, looking concerned at her as he pulled her out from the hole she was buried to.

„Yeah, yeah, I mean, I thought I was being speared but I seem to be in one piece, and I am saved as much as I can tell, unlike my favourite shirt, it's been torn completely," she looked at her darkish blue shirt being completely covered in dirt, and blood… „Is this my blood? I guess, not likely that it belongs to someone else as no one else was here…"

Then she stopped her usual ramble, and moved her eyes up to the man in front of her. He was also covered in blood, some bruises, and wounds, nothing what some stitches couldn't help with but as she glanced around, her stomach dropped, and she had to support herself against some of the remains of the building.

„Where is Oliver?" She asked in a small voice, fearing the worst.

„Don't worry, Felicity, he's alright, out there, looking for Laurel," he informed her, clearly having no idea about the romantic feelings she had toward the other man.

She only nodded as a response. Her hero is out there looking for his heroin, and that wasn't her. She was the one who had to be satisfied with the other sidekick. That was fine by her, they were all alive, and that was the point.

„Are you alright?" Diggle asked worridly as she swayed for a second.

„Of course, yes, don't worry… I have a medication bag with me, I'll stitch you up," she smiled, nodding. She was fine, and she was only imagening things when she thought she was speared.

She took some painkillers before starting to play doctor on Diggle as her head was pounding like a heavy metal concert was being played in it, also her stomach felt hot and cold in the meantime.

„Felicity, you need to track Laurel for me," Oliver stomped in, his body all tensed, his face haunted, and he looked anything but the Hoody in that moment.

She was worried about him. She could only imagine what this would do with him in both short and long run. He had such a big heart, and he carried the pain of the whole world on his shoulders, taking responsibility for the things he got nothing to do with.

„Yes, Oliver, Felicity is alright, and I'm okay as well, thank you for asking," Diggle snorted, quite annoyed.

In all honesty, she could understand his annoyance. They could have died, all of them, and a single „Glad you're alive." would have been nice. But this story is about a hero and his heroin, and clearly, they mattered only a little beside them.

„You are alive but Tommy is dead, he died in my arms, and I can't lose anyone else, too," Oliver growled dangerously, his jaw moving as he tried to keep his usual badass posture.

Tommy was dead, she noted the information. This was even worse she thought it would be. She had to help him, couldn't let him fall even harder.

„My tablet is in my purse, I held onto it just in case, you can never know when you might be asked to serve someone… I mean, not that I'm a servant of course, I'm your employee, and you aren't the worst boss in the world, a little demanding maybe but under current situations like this one…"

„Felicity," Oliver stopped her rant with that, and with looking at her like he was ready to tie her to a chair if she didn't do, what he ordered her to do. Not that being tied in the same room with him would be such a terrible thing… And she needed to get her mind out of her panties.

„Tracking, yes…" she nodded, reaching for her tablet.

The signal was dead but she knew her way around enough to know there are some what could still be used. It would take a few minutes though to connect to those.

„Felicity," Oliver said her name again, though it was more of a growl this time, and she didn't even dare to look up.

He was towering above her, invading her personal space, what she really needed this time, his scent was too strong, his presence was too strong, and made it difficult to concentrate on the task in her hands.

„I need more time, my tablet is not made for this, I'm not even sure if I can…" she mumbled, biting her bottom lip as she stared at the screen, hoping it would make it load faster.

„Try harder, Felicity!" Oliver almost yelled at her, making her wince.

That was it. What enough, was enough. There was only so many things even she could handle without losing her cool.

„You try harder, Oliver!" She screamed at him, stepping up to him, chest to chest, toe to toe, not caring how he was double size of her. „I was here, trapped in a hole made by concrete, and dust, and metal, and I could have died! But you didn't care! You didn't even think of coming for me even though, you knew I was here when the device went off! You didn't even think of that because all you cared about was Laurel! The Laurel who only causes you pain, and the Laurel who doesn't even know you! She only knows Oliver 1.1, the old version of you who sailed out with her sister but she has no freaking idea about Oliver 1.2 who has to play the macho daytime, or Oliver 2.1 who is struggling with getting back to normal life because a piece of him will always be on that island, or Oliver 2.2 who is Mr. Hoody, running around, shooting arrows into bad people! She only knows one of those, and even that one is gone forever!"

There it was, now she told him what she thought… And that made her feel nauzeous… And something was wrong… That was the last thing she could think of before fading into darkness.


	2. Chapter 2

**Dear Readers! Thank you so much for all the kind reviews, it means a lot to me you enjoyed my story so much. I hope it stays that way, and chapter 2 won't be a disappointment for anyone. Good and bad feedback are both welcome. Thank you for reading!**

Felicity was standing under the shower, enjoying the hot water warming her body, little drops making her skin tingle. She reflected back to last month. She was right from the beginning, she was speared after all. The only thing what made her go that day was adrenalin but even that couldn't save her from passing out at the moment she finished her rant to Oliver. Diggle enlightened her about the details of how she was rushed to the hospital, had a three hours long surgery, and another thirteen hours of sleep afterall. She should change her name to Sleepy after that but she had to admit that was one hell of a long day. Actually, those were long months. Never before she got into any kind of danger, and after starting to work with Oliver, or with Mr. Hoody really, her life became a roller coaster. The upper parts were the times when they managed to save someone, or when Oliver touched her slightly, gave her that knee weakening boyish smile. The down parts… There were more time down than up, that was certain… The times when they failed, when the city collapsed. The times when Oliver yelled at her, or stared at her with his ice cold stare, or even worse when he didn't even look at her. The constant worry that something would happen with him, or that he would harm himself. She'd always been worried about that… That Oliver would get to a point when he decided to do something terrible with himself. She didn't fail to see the marks in his palms, caused by his own nails. Nor she failed to see the bruises on his knuckles everytime he thought he failed, and punched something hard. She never failed to see the tention in all of his body, nor she failed to feel it even being a good few feet away from him. She saw all the fake smiles, the pretendence of how he was alright, the image he tried to make them believe was the real him. But she could see him, the real Oliver, lost and suffocated by the things his family forced him to try and take responsibility for, confused at times when he had to play his old self, so tensed so he wouldn't make any mistakes what could end with his secret revealed to even more people. He had so many layers, and she saw all of them, she saw Oliver Queen as a complex.

But there was no more reason for her to think of this at all, she thought as she stopped the water, and stepped out of the shower. She hadn't seen Oliver Queen in a month. Diggle visited her every day while she was in the hospital but not Oliver. He didn't show his face, not a single time. Neither of them mentioned him. Diggle told her about how renovations went, and stuff like that but never about their boss. That was fine by her. In the end, she knew this day would come when she was the third wheel. She got into this whole Hoody thing because of Walter, and Walter was saved, and safe so she might as well go back to her normal life. She was one of the worst sidekicks in history anyway. She knew nothing about fighting, and even her IT skills weren't enough to save the city.

She pulled a towel around her body, tip toeing to the room. Her new place was even smaller than the previous one but with the company being shut down for unknown time she couldn't afford to have a bigger place. It was a single room, with a bed, a couch, and television, and in the corner a small kitchenette. It was just big enough for her but she didn't mind, not that she had so many guests visiting her. She crouched down to one of her bags –yes, she still hadn't unpack but her ankle still hurt, and she was lazy as well.

"I'm not happy," said a rough voice behind her, scaring the leaving hell out of Felicity.

She spun around, holding one of her panties in her hand, clearly ready to attack the person who stood there. Her brain processed the image in front of her quite quickly.

"What the… We are so not on sneak upon terms!" She stomped her feet like a child, her panties still in her hand as she waved towards Oliver.

He was as tensed as ever, his whole body just looking like one huge piece of hard stone. And those eyes… She shouldn't see those eyes, and know what they meant, how broken they could make him look.

"I didn't mean to startle you," Oliver said, letting his eyes wander around the tiny apartment. His presence pressured Felicity, especially in such small space, he just took all the air from her, and now she had issues with breathing.

"And what do you mean you aren't happy?" She raised an eyebrow, trying to look more irritated than all over the moon by the fact Oliver Queen was at her apartment. "You aren't happy, so you visit funny girl, Mr. Queen? Is that how you think it works? And is sorry part of your vocabulary at all, or that's something you completely erased?"

"I'm sorry…" He glanced at her, and she felt her stomach making a flip-flop, way too aware that sorry was not meant to the fact he scared her, or sneaked into her apartment without making any kind of noises. She had to learn those ninja movements.

She only nodded, not entirely sure what she could say. She didn't want to get into one of her terrible ramblings and end up saying something inappropiate again so she preoccupied herself with her panties.

"Felicity, get rid of your panties," he said, in a controlled but definitely not relaxed voice. Her face turned scarlet red as soon as the words left his mouth, and she dropped the panties behind her. This was the most awkward thing ever.

"As my boss you shouldn't say things like that, I could sue you for sexual assult, not that anyone would believe me, as clearly, one like you wouldn't want anything from a geek like me but I could try, and…"

"Felicity," he cut off her nervous rant, stepping up to her, her breath caught for a second as she stared up at him. She could actually feel him, he wasn't touching her but she could feel the power, all of his energy, almost like his being embraced her entire being. "I am not your boss. I'm your friend."

"Well, that's… that's what I thought as well," she swallowed hard, trying to keep the more romantic feelings out of her brain. "And friends, they fight, and argue but they don't abandon each other because of those. But clearly, you are rather my boss as you ignored me in the past month, making it clear for me that I wasn't welcome in your life anymore. I know I said things what I shouldn't have said, and I had no right to tell those things to you…"

"Felicity, shut up," he commanded. It wasn't harsh, it wasn't the usual growl, it was… it was just a simple order what she followed. "I know you have every right to feel like I let you down, and I abandoned you, and you are right, I let you down when I didn't go looking for you after the device went off, and I should have been there while you were recovering but… I was terrified," he admitted, his eyes glued to the floor, like he was ashamed of himself.

"Terrified? Of what exactly? That I would tell you off again? Please, I don't think I'm so scarey that a mountain like you should be worried about that, because really, I'm just…"

"I was terrified by the thought of losing you, Felicity," he moved his eyes back to her, probably seeing the most stupid face she ever made, her mouth opening and closing like she was a fish. "When you fainted, just collapsed into my arms, and I realized there was blood everywhere… I just… I didn't know how to look into your eyes after failing you."

This was way too much information for her. She had to sit down, she would also need some clothes on her so she wouldn't feel so naked as he was staring at her waiting for her to say something. But what could she possibly say? She wasn't certain why he was telling her this. He was so confusing at the moment, the whole situation was confusing. Felicity Smoak sitting in only a towel, her wet hair dripping over her back making her shiver while Oliver Queen was towering above her, was the most confusing thing ever.

"I'm sorry for being hard on you that night… I shouldn't have made you feel bad about what happened, even you can't be at more places at the same time, and I most certainly couldn't expect you to come for me when your loved ones were in danger," she said, trying to rationalize this conversation as much as it was possible.

"No, Felicity, you were right," he said, turning his back to her. "Everything you said was true… You're important to me, and I should have been there looking for you, and I definitely should have seen the state you were at."

Her heart was bleeding for him, the sound of defeat echoing in every word made her want to just stand up and hug him as tight as possible, just give him some comfort.

"Well… no harm was done, I mean, I had a hole in my stomach and some cracks in my bones but nothing what a few stitches didn't make go away, I mean, I don't have a hole now, you can check if you want to… I mean, not now of course as I only have a towel on me, and that would be weird to stand naked in front of you… Not weird-weird of course, I mean, who wouldn't want to be naked in front of Oliver Queen… Did I just say that? I'd better just shut up now…" she shut her eyes, not wanting to look at him now that for the thousand of times she humiliated herself.

"It's amazing how you are all over the place all the time, and still you are the most collected person who I've ever known." he said that with a slight amusement in his voice, and Felicity let out a sigh of relief, hearing his tone lightening slightly.

"I am so not… It's only when it comes to you, just watching you constantly makes me concentrate even more, and I focus on you, and it's an IT thing, paying attention for the tiniest details…" she blushed slightly, playing with her hands nervously.

"What's wrong with me, Felicity?" That question knocked the air out of her lungs for a second. Why was he asking her? There was nothing wrong with him anyway. He was damaged, yes but who wasn't?

"Oliver, I don't think I…"

"You see me, Felicity, you see me like no one else. Help me, please," he turned to her, staring with those blue eyes.

"I… I'm not sure what you want to hear, Oliver," she admitted. She didn't want to get into another psyhological rant about the many Olivers again, it caused enough damage at the first time.

"Stop thinking so hard, Felicity, just tell me what you see," he growled in a low voice, making Felicity shudder.

"It's hard to explain, you know," she said defensively "I… I see you, as a whole, with your scars, and wounds, and your multiple personas, I see you as a whole, Oliver. You have all those Olivers in you and sometimes they crash, and sometimes you don't know which one you should pull… And you hang up on some old ideas, it's hard for you to let go things what you dreamt about on the island…"

"You mean Laurel," he nodded, having all of his attention making her selfconscious about the things she just said, it was complicated to put the notes in her brain into words after all this months.

"Yes… Her as well… I just think Laurel meant home for you on the island, you love the idea of her but you're a completely different man now, and she just… You hold onto her because she's the past you lost when that boat sink, the past a part of you wants to get back… You'll always find a reason why you can't be with her because you want to keep her in the past, and still a part of you longs for her and craves her… But you also don't want her to get hurt because she was your lighthouse on the island, and that's nice but Oliver, once the sailor go home, they don't stay there."

She glanced up at him nervously, not knowing if her metaphor was over the line, or not. That was a lot of talk for sure, even from her. She knew how important Laurel was for him but she honestly thought the woman was bad influence on him. She only kept reminding him of what he was back in time, and made him punish himself for the things he did again, and again.

He let out a sigh, his broad shoulders rising and falling slowly as he shut his eyes, processing the things she just said. Felicity was on the edge, not sure where this all would lead. Not that it could be any worse than not seeing him ever again. He sat next to her, his arm touching her bare skin, a shiver running through her by the contact. She didn't know what she should have done, her mind was clouded, and thoughts what shouldn't have been there invaded her brain. She was side to side with Oliver Queen only wearing a towel after all, that was more than any woman could make through without having naughty thoughts. She placed a hand on his back, feeling his muscles immediately tense under her touch, making her wonder if it was a good idea to do that but just as quickly as it came, the tension was gone.

"I need you," he stated as a matter of fact. That was… Well, that was definitely not something what Felicity Smoak, sidekick had ever expected to hear from him.

"And I need a bottle of whine," she laughed sheepishly, quickly standing up, and making those huge two steps into the kitchen, trying to put some distance between them.

"Would you like some…" she started, turning back towards the couch where Oliver sat just a second ago, only to bump into his chest, pouring red whine all over his white shirt. The apartment seemed to get tinier and tinier in every second. "I… I'm sorry, I just wanted to…"

She grabbed a paper towel, and tried to make the wine go away but of course, it was no use.

"Don't worry," Oliver shrugged, pulling his shirt over his head, making Felicity gasp, and look anywhere but at him. Of course, she saw him half naked many times but for one, she was more dressed those occasions, also he wasn't this close to her.

She didn't bother with the glasses anymore, she just took a sip right out of the bottle, feeling his eyes on her all along, making her anxious.

"Better?" Oliver asked, with clear amusement in his voice. Most likely, women in his kind of social group never drank whine out of a bottle but Felicity wasn't in the mood to play the lady, she wanted to get drunk so she could stop her brain from working so hard on what he just told her.

"It will be," she nodded, taking another sip, staring on the bottle, anything so she didn't have to look at him.

"I shouldn't have said what I said… I'm sorry…" he said, shaking his head, taking a step back, his face turning into it's usual stoic state, ready to walk away.

"No, no, it was fine. It's all okay. It was just unexpected… But it really is fine," Felicity said quickly, reaching after him, trying to catch his arm.

"No, it isn't," he stated, heading towards her window, ready to step out of her life forever.

"Sit down, Oliver Queen," she said angrily, surprised by the commanding voice she never thought she had.

Oliver turned to her, having just as surprised face as her but he complied to her wishes, and sat back to the couch.

"Thank you," Felicity nodded happily, and sat next to him. "I'm here, and I'll always be here for you, I promise." Even if I have no idea in what ways you might need me, she added mentally but decided to shut it.

One step at a time. Who knows where they will end up? He admitted he needed her, that was a confession she'd never expected to hear from Oliver Queen, other unexpected events might be waiting for them in the future, the sparkle of hope told her, and she felt more alive than she did in the last month ever.


End file.
